Dating someone with no friends


While it does sound tough, you can survive and thrive; it's absolutely do-able. The suggestions everyone gave above are already really great. I went through a tough breakup this year and while its not the same as your situation, what really helped me was having a goal to achieve that got me out of the house.

So imagine you want to 'level up', how would you do it? How would you gain experience points?

Earn a belt in a martial art? Become a yoga teacher? Trying all the burger places within 50 miles and ranking them? I'm sorry, it must be very hard for you right now, the pregnancy is probably kicking your emotions into overdrive on top of everything else. A lot of cities have free community programs for pregnant women, prenatal classes, support groups, etc.

You can even find some of the online pregnancy forums have local chapters for your city, where they may organize meetups. There's likely one for single moms-to-be.

Should you Date a Man Who Doesn't Have any Friends?

I know you've maintained that you have a hard time making and keeping friends, but this is probably the best time since school to make new friends, while you're pregnant and when the baby comes. Hey guys, thanks so much for all the advice so far! This is more getting it off my chest than related to the topic, but HR doesn't care at all. I was touched inappropriately by a coworker there twice, and when I reported it to the boss nothing happened.

I was then demoted and he got my position and hours until he got himself fired months later.

It was rough with my hours being cut. I don't know if I had saved the evidence of what happened and showed it to my boss, maybe they would have believed me and things would have turned out differently. But I was so upset I couldn't stand to look at the conversation he apologized to me on FB the first time it happened, but then it happened again a few months later.

I think the boss probably just thinks I'm a liar and was making stuff up, since I didn't tell her until he made up some lies to try to get me fired I thought I was protecting him.

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Should you Date a Man Who Doesn't Have any Friends? | Futurescopes

To this day I wish I had saved the evidence. You would get the benefits of having someone to focus your energy on that isn't a romantic partner, it will get you out of the house to low-stress activities, and mentoring at least for me really helps with building confidence and dealing with loneliness. You can do this: Find a new job.

You deserve so much better. Seconding the idea to go to pregnancy and baby care classes — you'd likely meet someone neat there. But definitely, oh my gosh, look for a new job. I suspect it's contributing to not having enough energy to find friends — soul-crushing places like that take so much from a person. I speak of what I know, sigh. After being transferred, which in my company was essentially the equivalent of changing jobs, life has changed in so many positive ways. Especially my energy levels, and that's at the root of so much. I'm with fraula--sounds like your incredibly shitty job and shitty boss and shitty coworkers are actively making the problem and eroding your self esteem more.

If you can find a new place, that will make a lot of difference on its own. I acknowledge that this can be hard when you're visibly pregnant if you're in the US, though. If you aren't visibly pregnant yet now is an awesome time to do some job hunting--that, or maybe figure on leaving shortly after you give birth and max out your paid maternity leave? All the people here recommending picking one recurring thing and sticking with it for at least a month are right.

Going to one regular thing gives you practice, lets you have a chance to gradually relax in a space and get to know people, and also gives you a chance to meet people repeatedly in a low-stress situation. I'm your age, and I really have had quite a bit of luck with meetups when I moved to a new city and had to try and make friends--but then, the regular thing I really wanted to do with people didn't exist, so I put out a meetup account and showed up every couple of weeks to a particular coffee shop at a pre-determined time and eventually people I liked showed up and stuck.

Of course, maybe the culture in your city is really different and the twenty-somethings are doing something else. Board game groups my local gaming cafe has one! Sometimes it's easier to tell yourself that you're welcome when you're shy if you can point to something tangible you're bringing to your groupmates, or if you can focus on doing something with your hands when talking to new people seems scary. I'm also with Ruthless Bunny--a lot of the time for these things, you kind of have to fake confidence till you make it. If you can find a regular thing to go to, even if you don't know anyone there yet, sometimes it can help to look for other people who seem shy or nervous.

Usually, if you walk over to them and project friendliness at them, they take well to that, and if you keep doing it eventually you'll find someone that you have other things in common with.


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I often go up and bond about being confused or a little uncertain about what I'm doing if I'm trying to make friends in a setting I'm not confident in yet. You don't have to pretend to be confident, if you see what I mean; you just have to act like someone who can do something confident like approach another person, and that's where the whole "fake it till you make it" thing comes in.

Of course, I acknowledge that pretending you're a confident person is super hard, so I'd also encourage you to accept that and think of social confidence as a skill that you can practice. When you pick a regular social event you can go to, at first give yourself brownie points just for showing up. You did a social thing!

As just hauling yourself to your new event gets easier, set yourself a "harder" goal--"go up to a person and start a conversation. More on that here and here. I'm also going to add that you can actually practice a lot of these skills on online communities if that's easier for you. National Novel Writing Month is nearly over, but there are a lot of other online writing communities you could join and see if you can practice your writing if those are easier for you to negotiate.

Or you can join offline local ones! Hell, you can actually watch me using that strategy for bonding with other uncertain people over here on MetaTalk if you want. I know you really want offline friends and I totally encourage you to pursue that, but if you have a lot of problems accessing or finding offline communities with Your People in them--well, try looking for Your People on the Internet and practicing there if that feels less insurmountable for you.

So, so difficult, and I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling like this.


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I just wanted to provide you with a quick link to read, as it gives advice that may well be helpful and relevant I do often recommend this advice columnist - she's great. It's solid advice for battling loneliness, I think: You MUST break this fixation on love as the cure to all of your ills. If you found love right now, you would run it straight into the ground in seconds.

You need an outward focus that has nothing to do with guys or even making new friends which you currently view as merely a vehicle for meeting guys. Forget some of your assumptions about where your interests lie.

You are here

Sign up for classes and clubs that are outside of your comfort zone, and see what happens. Observe others without worrying about what to say. Just exist, in your awkwardness, without apologizing or explaining yourself, even to yourself. You deserve much better. Please do it, for your own sake. And as other people have said, the fact that you're pregnant surely means your emotions are going into overdrive, so please be as kind to yourself as you possibly can be.

There are some good practical answers here regarding your work life and sociallising, so I won't add to that.

However noone seems to have answered your question about how to get to know yourself. I don't think there is a simple answer to that, but I have some ideas about it based on my own experience. Your question actually made me laugh, where you said that you will be alone soon for 4 months.

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